Trevor Collopy

Hi I'm Trevor. 
I'm an Irishman and we like to tell stories.

Let's go Deep.

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For most of this life the only confidence I had was in the roles (Footballer) I played, the shirt or the name badge I wore, take these away and I had no confidence in just Trevor. I lacked expression and authenticity.

 

I judged and compared myself (from a distance) against other men and I wasn't one of them. In my relationships (when I did let someone in) I tried to control my environment, which was just an old pattern playing out. Old patterns would show up in other areas too. I'd look for validation from others and when someone wasn't in the best of moods, 'I must have done something wrong' would be the thought in my mind.

 

Now here's the thing, all of the above was just the workings of the mind. The mind looking outwards to compare, the inner critic and commentary judging oneself, old patterns playing out in the unconscious mind until I started meditating.

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Meditation gave me an opportunity to press pause on life, it gave me a safe space to sit with the only feeling I could recognize, anger. This feeling of anger was rooted in my early childhood from finding my father dead when I was only 9 years old. Grief would arrive unannounced almost 30 years later.